The Problem with Peter
by NaughtyTautology
Summary: James, Sirius, and Remus can't figure out how Peter got into Gryffindor.. even after he tells them. one shot


The question hadn't exactly plagued them, but it had come up more than once. In fact, James, Sirius, and Remus often had lively debates on the exact nature of Peter's acceptance into Gryffindor House - when he wasn't around, that is.  
"I still think the most obvious answer is it: His parents were Gryffindors."   
"Sometimes you can be so boring, James," protested Sirius, "Clearly he bribed the sorting hat!"  
Remus looked up from his homework; at least he was pretending to read through the assignment from time to time. The other two had their arithmancy books out, but had probably forgotten about them by now. "Bribed it?? With what? 'I'll bring you candy, Mr. Hat, if you let me into Gryffindor!'"  
"You don't bribe hats with CANDY -- You bribe them with... " Sirius glanced around the room in thought, "Dust Combs."  
"If I were a hat and some kid offered me a dust comb, I'd be insulted!" laughed Remus.   
"Maybe he just didn't fit in ANY other house," offered James. "He's not smart, he's not ambitious, he's not.. what do the Hufflepuffs do?"  
"Nothing," chuckled Sirius.  
"Loyal."  
"Oh well.. he's that.. I guess he's just average across the board," finished James.  
"I bet he has some strength of character that we haven't discovered yet. He's probably very brave .. under duress." Remus had decided the conversation should end before Peter showed up.  
"Oh go on, you always defend him. I think he's gotten LESS brave since he met us," said Sirius.   
"So if he's encouraged to sit back and let you do all the hard work that's your fault for sticking your head into everyone else's business," said Remus amiably. "But the hat knows what it's doing. Maybe he hasn't figured out he's a true Gryffindor yet, but I bet he will - we're only fourth -- don't look at me like that." The other two were staring at him wide-eyed. No, they were staring behind him. Uh oh. Remus turned around to see Peter Pettigrew standing in the doorway of the common room. How much had he heard? "Hey.. Hi Peter."  
Peter approached their table slowly. "You were talking about me...."  
"Good that you're here. You can tell us yourself!" said Sirius cheerfully.  
"Tell you what?" All right, he hadn't heard too much.  
"Oh, we were . eh... wondering about how you like being a Gryffindor?" James tried to give his best friendly and innocent smile.  
Peter took the empty chair next to Remus. "I like it very much! I have the best classmates," The other three grinned, but Peter lowered his voice. "But, er... it was kind of strange, how it happened, you know." They leaned in. "Because you know who went right before me - I don't know if you remember it very well , that day.."  
"Parkinson?" asked James, frowning.  
"I think he was two or three before me, because Juliet Pesterhill was right before me."  
"She's not OUR year!" cried Sirius.  
"Yes she is."  
"She told me she was a third year, devious litte.. ah, but she has such a fine-"  
"AS I was saying!" Peter broke in. "I picked up the hat, and it was still - you know, talking to itself as it does...."  
--  
_ Flashback to their first year - a pretty girl is removing the sorting hat as a scared-looking Pettigrew walks up to take it from her. The hat is indeed grumbling to itself.  
"Bloody Slytherins - that's SEVEN in a row! And 12 out of 15! If I get ONE more - NO, next one I get is not going into that house, Merlin witness - Let's have a little variety - WHO invites these students- we are seeing a regular dearth of Gryffindors this year such as I have never seen - and here comes one looks like the farthest thing from a Gryffindor as a sick duck...."  
Peter puts the hat on his head; it's a little big and slides down. "...appearances had better be deceiving, because I'm JUST IN THE MOOD to be a right and regular predictable old sorting hat tonight!! -- PETTIGREW!! WHAT IS THIS!" Peter grimaces in fright. "You - who!? -- And I suppose you think you know where you're going, do you? You have it all planned out to be the black sheep in the family - "the different generation," eh? Not THIS generation, my boy - your parents were Gryffindors and I don't care what you think you ought to be but you're going in that house too!! GRYFFINDOR!!!"  
_ --  
"HAH! I TOLD YOU SO!" James hopped up from his chair in excitement, index finger extended triumphantly in Sirius's face.  
"That's nonsense."   
"That's what it said," answered Peter, wide eyed. "I'm not sure what it meant. It didn't seem.. you know, very happy to be on my head, that's all I can really remember."   
"See, he can't remember that well - so you can't judge!" retorted James.  
"Well that doesn't solve the problem then, does it?" asked Remus.  
"What 'problem'?" Peter scowled at them.  
"Er.."  
"Nothing!"  
"I wouldn't doubt the hat, Peter," said Remus assuringly. "It knows what it's doing."  
Peter seemed confused. "Oh well.. yes, but I never doubted the hat.."  
"No one should doubt the hat."  
"Nope, never."  
"SO - have you started the arithmancy homework yet?"


End file.
